Confessions Of an 'Evil' Developer

Hey, the other day i was possessed by a spirit of an Evil Developer and boy, did he have a lot to say, he made me type this out:




Oh dear, another landslide, oh, what a horrible loss of life… my condolences to those who care. Ok, then, time for us to move on, get on with our lives, there is money to be made!!

What’s that? You ask if I feel guilty getting rich off the deaths of a few dozen?

Are you making me look like the bad guy here?

You know what?

I’m sick of people calling me a bad guy, the ‘evil’ developer. I will have you know that those house you are living in, yes, that very high-rise, that penthouse, that bungalow, semi-d or whatever little hovel you are holed up in was built by none other than yours truly. So please, show me some gratitude.

Without me, you people would still be staying in mud-huts with nipah roofs with the grass-skirt wearing ‘ulu’ nuts as your neighbours.

You want that?

Come now, the ones who died, well, collateral damage really. Its all in the name of progress. I mean, of course I mourn their deaths, but, what can I do about it?

I can’t bring them back to life.. if you wanna bitch about their deaths bring it up with God. Isn’t he the one who determines who lives and dies… or something like that….

Besides, the ones who died were mostly illegals and those whose lives were mired in poverty and suffering that death was the kindest thing that could have ever happened to them.

They weren’t people, not like you… or me… well, I’m probably more than a person, yes, a demi-god probably. Hey, I determine where you live the rest of your lives, so therefore I deserve some worship… at least!

Now I have hundreds of ingrates and heretics on my back, each one of them calling me names like ‘negligent’, ‘irresponsible’ and ‘greedy’. Well, honestly, bugger for them for not realizing all the good I have done for them.

I can be charitable too. I can name several families of the authorities whose lives I have made better… charities which you heathens call ‘bribes’. That is such a crude word… all I do is provide them a better standard of living for a simple signature on a piece of paper. How can that be a crime?

70 percent of Malaysia is still untouched, pristine Rainforest…. I intend to change all that. I mean, who need rainforests anyway?

I find that they are a perfectly good waste of building materials and building space plus they are downright inhospitable, what with the mosquitoes, weird noises and strange smells…. If I had it my way, I’d clear ‘em all for development. Now that would be putting it to good use.

One day, there shall be homes for everyone, every person who can afford it of course. And the ‘ulu’ nuts, the mosquitoes and those hideous forest critters will be a thing of the past.

This is development people, if you don’t like it, tough! The only constant thing is change… duh!

Now then, I’m just a simple man… well… uhm… god-man, who is trying to make a living in this world. I help those who help me in return. That is my simple philosophy.

Its not that I over-charge, I just charge enough to pay my loyal disciples, whom you called under-paid employees and enough to maintain my three Mansions, my four BMWs, Five Mercedes, Two limited edition Seafarer Yachts and state of the art underwater house.

My achievements have been recognized by many great leaders. In fact, Satan himself is so impressed with me that he has contracted me to develop blast furnaces in hell. Apparently the fire-pits were getting too old.

Oh well, I would love to stay and chat with my ardent followers but I have a golf appointment with Satan himself. It seems he wants to offer me a permanent spot in hell.

How delightful! I have always been a great admirer of his work, and i’m sure I’ll get a lovely tan down there.

Farewell then mortals! There are Jungles to be cleared and hills to be raped!!