Doing what's right, doing what's ...uhmm....

OK, i am done apologising for not posting much on my blog, knowing full well that it does not get that much traffic anyway...

But for the record, this is the first time in this month i have posted anything, so , here goes:

Lately i have been having thoughts, and i have been indulging in them, thoughts which are ... uhm... 'questionable' to say the least. Ok, fine my hormonal teenage mind has been riddled with fantasies of sex (the straight type.. phewh!). Yeap. Sex

Oooh, taboo.

Anyway, lest i get into details, i have satisfied myself...by myself of course. Fortunately there hasn't really been any real opportunity for me to go all 'evil'. Although, im not very sure how i would react if presented with the opportunity (read: sexually attractive member of the opposite sex cornering me into doing it).

As i continue to 'layan' these thoughts, i find myself having all these weird fantasies...

Now i am presented with a choice:

Instead of waiting for an opportunity, i could go out looking for one

Or

I could remain a fairly good Muslim and keep my pants up... until i get married

Hmhmhmhmh...

The first option seems fairly tempting, though i wouldn't really know where to start looking

The second option remains tried and true. I could keep it up until marriage... i suppose...

This whole hormonal journey has taken its toll on my professional life. I seem to be losing track of projects and studies. Which is bad really. Sometimes i wonder if i actually had sex with some girl would that satisfy my hormone-driven curiousity. Or it could backfire and i could get addicted....

Hmmmm....

I think i'll stick with the Whole 'be a good Muslim' option. Its safer.

But presented with the opportunity...

Well, i just hope im a good enough Muslim.

I suppose it all boils down to a matter of willpower.

Do i have the will to do what is right?

Or do i succumb to what's ..uhmmm... 'wrong'?

Probably ill stick to right... its a lot safer...