How to comfort a friend

Just recently a very dear friend of mine had a lousy birthday...

really lousy...

she cried...

I felt bad... not that i was the one who made her cry, but mainly because i didn't know how to comfort her. I couldn't possibly imagine the pain she must have been going through, the emotional distress and the thought of having her hardwork suddenly going to waste.

Basically, she was the one who was a victim of circumstance...and I wasn't.

I felt guilty.

Guilty because any attempt i make at comforting her seems selfish. It seems selfish because im doing it to make myself feel better. When the person who really needs cheering up is her.

Sure i can say something supportive

I can praise her virtues through the roof

but the bottomline is... i don't know her pain... and if i can't feel it... all my efforts to comfort her may just be for the worse...

eventually with the help of some of my other friends, we managed to get her to stop crying and laughing again... it felt good to see her smile... im not sure if i did manage to help or if she feels much better now...

whatever it is, i hope that her next birthday will be even better than this year's